Depression and Aderall

I have Bipolar Disorder and I have been depressed for over a year and a half. I have ADHD so I decided to ask the doctor for adderall to make me mini manic. I have been on Adderall since July 3rd. I am still depressed but at least I have energy to do things like start this blog. Don't get me wrong , I am still depressed and I see a Great Therapist twice a month. I am also going to start TMS-TRANSCRANIAL MAGNETIC STIMULATION -I think thats it. I have a friend who suffers from MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER and he is currently going through the treatment and it is working for him. The only drawback is you have to do it monday thru friday for 5 to 8 weeks. Big time and money challenge. But like I said most days I am manic (Time RELEASE 30mg TWICE DAILY) But some days it doesn't keep me going and I let my brain lie to me about how bad my life is going. I tried SUICIDE on February 6th of 2013. It did not work. In Intensive Care for 3 days and the Psych Hospital for 8 or 9 , can't quite remember. Not a bright idea, really affected my teenage daughter, I really regret trying to kill myself. Anyway, MENTAL ILLNESS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!IT affects every part of your life and all your LOVED ONES.I have been married for 22 years and I could write a novel on all the things I put my wife, daughter and family through. All the hospitalizations(I HATE PSYCH WARDS), suicide attempts, over doses, doctors, therapist, lost jobs not that I have to work. I have been on DISABILITY since 1998 because the GOVERNMENT decided I was INSANE and can't take care of myself. I have to admit, they are RIGHT.Anyway, I try to make it one day at a time. I am also a self medicating RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC>YEAH for me. Well if anyone reads this blog for today I hope you enjoyed it!!!!!!!